you sick liiitle monkeeeey!

very humid today and i’m tired. I drew this daikon (Japanese radish) back in March of 2002?! It was intended for a site called Big Daikon, a JET message board.

Ao namako from Ishikawa Prefecture: 282-yen ($2.50)
the creepiness of killing it: priceless

This, ladies and gentleman, is a sea cucumber. Known as a namako in Japanese, and a sea ginseng in Chinese, these slimey little creatures are thought to have medicinal value when consumed. They belong to the same family as sea stars and have several remarkable survival adaptations and regenerative abilities, able to contract their skin like a fist when threatened and expell their internal organs to escape predators.

I saw one of these in the local Tobu supermarket, so I was curious to try them. I had eaten dried sea cucumber many times in Chinese cooking and sometimes in sashimi, but I’d never seen living ones sold in the supermarket, even in such a marine food-rich country as Japan.

sea cucumber in my kitchen, next to a land cucumber

Well, folks, these things are even grosser to touch than they are to look at. They ooze white goo and are slippery all over. Picking them up scares them and they contract. I was freaked out about killing this one for a day and finally summoned up the courage to kill it one day.

I cut off the end that looked like the mouth first, then the other end, and slit the creature down the middle to opened it. The yellowish orange goo inside is the sea cucumber’s internal organs and are very rich tasting, having what the Japanese call umami. It can only be translated in English as being “sweet”, but not in the sense of sweet like sugar.

Sea cucumbers can’t scream and don’t writhe in pain when you cut them, but this was one of the worst experiences of my life. I don’t mind killing insects, but higher organisms really put the fear in me. Having to kill it really made me think about the act of taking life and thinking of never wanting to do it again. I realized then why Buddhism and many other religions abhor killing. As unpleasant as that experience of killing an animal was, I think it’s an experience that more meat-eating people should have. It really made me value life and appreciate that meat once had life. Meat doesn’t just come pre-packed in little styrofoam trays in the supermarket. More people would have a healthier relationship with food, I’d think.

The US Embassy in Tokyo celebrates July 4th every year by throwing a BBQ party open to the general public. Admission is $10 for all the beer and soda you can drink. The compound is a large, gated oasis right in the middle of Roppongi, laid out with a main street that runs through the grounds and a grassy hill at the end.

Here I am getting really drunk. What a great way to celebrate a true American holiday: roasting meat, little kids running around, booze, relaxing on the grass with friends.

This is the simplified form of the word for behind, or after, as in behind something or after dinner, and is pronounced ho, which is undoubtedly what the owner of this tattoo certainly is. It does not mean behind, as in the English slang for ass or posterior. Aside from the obvious lingual fauxpas, the way this was written is just plain awful. This is just one bad looking ass overall. And by bad, I don’t mean good.

Japan has some strange car names. Daihatsu’s Naked is one of them. If there’s a reason behind this, I sure as hell don’t know it.

Tokyo, Japan

Either this guy’s having a great time by himself, or he’s really exhausted. For 10 minutes, I kept watching him bob gently, wishing he’d finally tip over. But no! His amazing sense of balance kept him rooted in his seat and me from enjoying the misery of my fellow man.

corridor of Roppongi Station, Hibiya Line, Tokyo, Japan

The sign reads: Tachi shouben genkin, which translates to “standing urination strictly prohibited”. I guess the problem is so bad along in this station that they had to post a sign (and directions to the nearest toilet on the opposite platform)! It’s a pity we don’t have such a funny word as tachi shouben in the English language. We need three words: peeing while standing.

Japan seems to understand the concept of “when you gotta go, you gotta go” better than the US, where you can get fined for peeing in public. There, it is not uncommon to see men just whip it out and pee on the side of the road or against a building, usually after a night of drinking.In my town, I even saw an old man walk a couple of feet from the busy train station entrance, turn towards the wall, and just go right then and there in plain sight. It was the middle of the day, and he was holding some shopping in his other hand, so I had to admire his nonchalance and dexterity. The restroom was several feet away!

Kasukabe, Saitama, Japan: Down the street from my apartment, waiting for the train to cross, I spotted this guy. I didn’t know what to make of this absurd sight, so I just took a picture of him.

Some coffee my Australian friends came back from Vietnam with. They didn’t even notice the name. I guess that makes me the perv…

Mott St & Grand, Chinatown, NY: Hm.. this sign could use a few punctuations. No dumping garbage fine! - Great! I can throw out all my crap here without fear of penalties! (The Chinese though, is more intelligible: Disposing of garbage here strictly prohibited - violators will be heavily fined)